Diary of a Wimpy Troll
((Bedtime! I'll reply tomorrow. I think we need to cut rp posts before they get this long, though--I lost a follower D:{ I'm on mobile, but Ill cut it when I get on my computer.))

capricorn-circus:

{{Well then goodnight! I’ll reply as soon as I get home and- NO MY POOR BABY!! WHUBWHUBWHUB!!! WHY WOULD SOMEONE UNFOLLOW YOU?!? *hugs* Well yeah, I think we should start cutting the posts… X3 But goodnight!!}}

((For the past few days, I’ve been gaining 2-3 followers, but also losing 2-3 followers, so it’s kind of canceling each other out! D: /cling

Rp later! XD))

fleetadmiraldualscar:

wimpytav:

i GUESS THAT’S TRUE, bUT, uH, cOMMUNING WITH ANIMALS DIDN’T HELP, wHEN MY CERULEAN BLOOD FRIEND MIND CONTROLLED ME TO JUMP OFF THE CLIFF,

That sounds like a Serket.

yES, aCTUALLY, sHE IS A sERKET, hOW DID YOU KNOW?

fleetadmiraldualscar:

wimpytav:

„,tHAT IS SO NOT FAIR,

VWell, vwe typically don’t get psychic powvers to help us literally movwe cities and take dowvn satalites, so I think it vworks out in it’s owvn vway.

i GUESS THAT’S TRUE, bUT, uH, cOMMUNING WITH ANIMALS DIDN’T HELP, wHEN MY CERULEAN BLOOD FRIEND MIND CONTROLLED ME TO JUMP OFF THE CLIFF,

fleetadmiraldualscar:

wimpytav:

hOW DOES BEING A SEADWELLER HELP WITH LANDING ON THE GROUND? i MEAN, uH, yOU CAN’T FLY, rIGHT?

You don’t knowv much about highbloods, do you?

Alright. I’ll assume you don’t.

The long and short of it is vwe’re built for more physically tryin maneuvwers. VWe jump higher, take harder hits, lift heavwier objects vwithout the use of psychic abilities and livwe longer lifespands. That said, Seadvwellers are the strongest type of troll there is, aside from a fewv abnormalities among the landdvwellers.

Me, personally? I could easily jump up twvo stories and land the same height vwithout fear of losin my legs… or tvwistin my ankle, really. I don’t need to fly. My bones are dense enough to vwithstand a lot of force exerted onto them… and I knowv howv to roll into my landin if I think I might fuck myself ovwer othervwise.

So… Yeah. 8ein a seadvweller is kind of a big deal in these cases.

„,tHAT IS SO NOT FAIR,

Gamzee juggled his slightly blooded clubs as he got closer to his... Friend. He chuckled softly, tilting his head to the side. "Hey Taaaavbbroo~" The clown silently called out. "Taaavbrooo~" His voice was now getting angrier. {{This good?}}

capricorn-circus:

wimpytav:

capricorn-circus:

wimpytav:

capricorn-circus:

wimpytav:

capricorn-circus:

wimpytav:

capricorn-circus:

wimpytav:

He’d never seen Gamzee like this. Was that blood on his clubs? That didn’t mean what Tavros thought it meant, did it? His blood pusher skipped a beat, then pounded at breakneck speed. Why would Gamzee attack anyone?

"uH," Tavros stammered, "yES, gAMZEE? uH, wHAT’S THE MATTER?"

He could analyze the situation later. Now he just had to keep Gamzee from getting angry at him.

((Yes, it’s good))

"You know Tavbro… I’ve been talking to Karkat and… Well… I heard a few things about you. I won’t say good or bad things… Just motherfucking things…"

He stopped juggling and scanned Tavros, growling a bit lowly.

"Ya know… I’ve always wanted to play a game with you and now seems about a really good motherfucking time. You know WHY?! Cause it’s just us… No one else to interrupt our… little motherfuckin game~"

Leaning in a bit closer to the troll, Gamzee used one of his clubs and put it on his chest, gently pushing Tavros back. There stained a small circle of what seemed to be blue blood on his shirt.

Tavros put his hands up, palms out in a placating motion. “uH, wHAT THINGS? wHAT, uH, wHY ARE YOU SO ANGRY? pLEASE, uH, i’M SURE WE CAN WORK THIS OUT,”

Please don’t be Vriska’s blood, he pleaded in his head.

"Angry? I’m not motherfucking angry… I just wanna play with my bro… Can’t I do that?"

Gamzee looked down at his club and back to Tavros, chuckling a bit louder at how his face looked. He seemed scared. Worried.

"What’s wrong Tavbro? You motherfucking WORRIED about someone~?"

He lifted his club up to his chin and raised it a little higher, forcing the other troll to look at his eyes.

"i’M WORRIED, bECAUSE, uH, oF WHAT YOU ARE DOING, wITH YOUR CLUB," Tavros blurted out. This was not Gamzee. What did he have to do to get the real Gamzee back?

"uH, i DON’T MIND, pLAYING A REGULAR GAME WITH YOU, uH, hOW ABOUT fIDUSPAWN?"

He put a hand up to the club under his chin and carefully tried to push it away.

The clown quickly turned into a black expression as he pulled the club away.

"Regular game… That the most motherfucking stupidest games I’ve ever heard… But hey, it’s the only things you’re actually GOOD at… Even better than walking~"

He laughed a bit louder as his eyes turned to a darker orange.

"Oh come on… Equius and Nepeta had fun playing my game… How about you motherfucking JOIN them?"

Tavros flinched at Gamzee’s words, looking at him with an expression of genuine hurt. He’d never expected those kind of insults from his friend.

"wOW„,uH, wOW, gAMZEE, tHAT’S„,rEALLY MEAN,"

The revelation about Equius and Nepeta snapped him back into focus. That was their blood? Tavros thought he was going to throw up.

"wAIT, wHAT? wHY?!"

Gamzee smoothly walked next to Tavros and wrapped an arm around him, still chuckling at his insult.

"Don’t worry brother. It’s fine. You know I can’t always be motherfuckin NICE."

He spoke a bit raspy, but it sounded calm. Lifting his club again, he held it up against his chest once more.

"And uh… They didn’t want to play but I forced em anyways… Kind of like how Vriska played too. Although she was quite motherfuckin rude…and she cheated the game but uh… I still motherfuckin won~"

Vriska, too? And now him? Tavros couldn’t keep back tears any longer. “yOU KILLED THEM?” he cried. “wHY?!”

"AH!!! YOU FINALLY GOT IT!! YES I KILLED THEM!! ALL!!!"

His smile grew even more as he pulled away, dancing around.

"Why?…. WHY? BECAUSE I FINALLY REALIZE WHAT THIS GAME WAS MEANT TO BE!!! AND IF I CANT WIN, THEN NO ONE CAN!!!"

"gAMZEE, aRE YOU OUT OF YOUR MIND? wE WERE ALL PLAYING TOGETHER, wE ARE ALL FRIENDS, wE HAVE DIFFERENT ASPECTS, tHAT ARE ALL PART OF THE GAME,

"dON’T YOU REMEMBER, hOW MUCH YOU CARED ABOUT YOUR FRIENDS, oR, uH, I THOUGHT YOU DID?" He paused to wipe the bronze trails from his eyes. "wHAT ABOUT kARKAT, hE’S YOUR MOIRAIL, uH, hE’S YOUR BEST FRIEND, aND WHAT ABOUT ALL THE GOOD TIMES WE HAD? rEMEMBER HOW, uH, wE USED TO HAVE RAP-OFFS, uH, wE CAN’T DO THAT, iF YOU KILL ME!"

Tavros scanned the room for exits. But then he realized he could never hope to outrun Gamzee on his clumsy robot legs.

"pLEASE, dON’T KILL ME," he begged.

How could this be happening?

16,308 plays

prozdvoices:

Anonymous said:

Hi there! Could you narrate this post in your best Shakespearean voice please (or any of the other posts from the blog): popsonnet(.)tumblr(.)com/post/93434089148/the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air

image

Pop Sonnets is officially my new favorite Tumblr.  Check them out.

fleetadmiraldualscar:

wimpytav:

oH, wELL, jUMPING INTO THE WATER, wOULD, oF COURSE, bE MUCH DIFFERENT, fROM FALLING ONTO LAND,

I’vwe landed on both, perfectly fine.

Again, bein a seadvweller helps. Though it’s nice of you to assume I need to be near vwater to survwivwe a fall.

hOW DOES BEING A SEADWELLER HELP WITH LANDING ON THE GROUND? i MEAN, uH, yOU CAN’T FLY, rIGHT?